The Greatest Gift of All
by Lilly Valens
Summary: A Christmas themed "Forever Blue" oneshot prequel where Coop tries to reconcile what he wants for Christmas with reality. Mild Jimmy/Coop slash.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Cold Case or any of its characters. But this is a plot bunny that's been rolling around in my head for a while. I'm not sure what sort of feedback I'll get for this, but I feel satisfaction now that is typed out. Mild slash.**

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The Christmas party at police officer Jimmy Bruno's house was in full swing. At first, Jimmy had been reluctant to have so many people into the house; large crowds had a way of making him nervous. But Jimmy was beginning to enjoy mingling with the partygoers now that a few glasses of punch had loosened his social skills.

Standing in the corner of in the living room, Sean "Coop" Cooper took one last swig of his beer. Coop felt his face form a small smirk as Jimmy weaved unsteadily through the smoky room. Even after six months of regular beer nights, his partner's low tolerance for alcohol still remained the cause of jibs and jabs from fellow officers in locker room at the precinct.

Crushing the beer can between his strong fingers, Coop flicked a lock of dark blond hair out of his eyes with his free hand. The beginning of a sick headache began to pound at his temples. Ducking his head and making a beeline for the kitchen, Coop knew he needed a reprieve that could only be provided by the crisp winter air of the outdoors.

Opening the backdoor after tossing his beer can onto the counter, Coop shut the door behind him. The brisk December wind quickly cut through his thin grey suit and Coop wrapped his arms around his torso. After a few sharp intakes of frosty night air, Coop felt his head begin to clear. Thousands of stars dotted the pitch black sky and Coop began to stare at them in wonder. The last time Coop had seen so many stars lighting up the sky like fireworks had been during a still night deep in the jungles of Vietnam.

_Fuck. _Coop couldn't believe he had let any of _those _images cross his mind. Hell, almost every night made him re-experience what he had hoped would end once he had boarded that helicopter flight to Saigon. Now, with the Jack Frost whipping his cheeks red, visions of blood sticking to the paper rice hat of the Vietnamese boy he had sniped flashed before him.

"Coop! There you are!"

With a shake of his head, Coop batted away the grotesque images of his mind. He grinned as Jimmy came into focus. "Yup, I'm here! The one and only!"

Jimmy's piercing blue eyes softened as he broke into a broad grin of his own. "Coop, what the hell are you doing out here? It's freezing!"

Coop shrugged as he took a seat on Jimmy's pine picnic table. "Was like a chimney in there! I needed some fresh air!"

Jimmy gave Coop an understanding nod as he took a seat across from Coop. He too hated being suffocated by cigarette smoke; he much preferred a roaring campfire in the middle of the woods where the smoke would quickly swirl away into the branches of the evergreens. "You're looking a bit rough tonight. Late night again last night?"

Coop smirked. "Yep. Went to that bar near my place and brought a nice girl home. Her name's Linda. If we go out on a second date, I might introduce her to my folks. Pop's really been hounding me lately about getting another steady girlfriend ever since I broke up with Brenda."

Jimmy shook his head in wonder; Coop had had so many girlfriends the past six months Jimmy had long since lost count. Then a memory pricked at his subconscious. "Wait a sec. I thought Linda was the name of the chick you met last week?"

Coop's cold cheeks began to flame and he began to study the pattern of knots in the picnic table's boards. "Oh, right. The one I met last night is Darlene. Ya know how I've got trouble keeping them all straight."

Jimmy pulled Coop's chin up until their stares were level. "Nah, that ain't it! I can tell by that look you're giving me! Same one you gave me last Friday when you told me about…"

"Shut up, Jimmy!" Coop interrupted sharphead icing Jimmy a fierce glare. Even after a week of processing the whole incident, Jimmy knowing one of his darkest secrets still bothered him. Coop wasn't used to _anyone_ knowing more about himself than was necessary; his night terrors being exposed to a fellow policeman was almost the greater nightmare.

Jimmy sighed. "I knew it! What happened?"

Coop's face hardened. "Same old. Had a nightmare and couldn't get back to sleep. Nothing on TV by then so I just read all night."

"What was it about?"

"It ain't important."

"Sure it is! I told you I'd listen if you needed to talk about it!"

Coop sighed. "Jimmy, please. This is my first Christmas home in three years. I'd like to try and think of things that'll get me into the holiday spirit."

Jimmy bit his lip. "Okay. Uh…let me think here. How about telling me what you want for Christmas?"

Coop began to chuckle. "You really wanna know?"

"Sure! Why not? I already told you I wanna new chess set so I can finally teach Adam how to beat me!"

Coop cocked his head. "Ain't it more the other way around, Jimmy? Adam's always telling me how he beats you at checkers!"

Jimmy groaned. "I know, I know! I don't know where the hell he gets his smarts; it sure ain't from me! But come on, Coop. Be a sport. What do you want for Christmas?"

Coop picked up a small twig from the lawn and began to break it between his fingers. "The love of a good woman!"

"Yeah, right! You get that almost every day of the week!"

Coop felt his face grimace. Jimmy was right in a sense; two weeks rarely went by where there wasn't some new woman he was courting. But the sex was meaningless. It _felt _good, but did nothing to help ease the void that Coop supposed would one day overtake him completely.

Coop had long since given up trying to understand why it was men that captivated him instead of women. But Coop had figured if he kept trying, surely one woman out of the dozens he had slept with would understand that he was more than a cocky smartass. Someone was out there that would listen to his fears and desires. There had to be some woman that would try to help him figure out the answers to questions that continued to remain unanswered.

And then last Friday it had finally happened: Jimmy had discovered the real reason Coop came into work so exhausted that he forced himself to drink down cup after cup of stale black coffee from the break room. What Coop had been searching for his since the turbulent surge of adolescent hormones was now seated mere feet in front him.

Then Coop's fantasies ripped to tatters. Unlike himself, Jimmy was not a deviant and was married with children. Unhappily married, but still in spectrum beyond Coop's reach. Coop felt his heart tighten with the familiar disappointment each time a relationship of his had disintegrated.

Seeing Coop's hard eyes, Jimmy sensed Coop's melancholy mood wouldn't lift as easily as he had hoped. Jimmy got to his feet and offered his hand to his partner. "Coop, I dunno about you, but I'm almost frozen solid. How about we get back into the house and get something hot to drink?"

Giving Jimmy a small smile, Coop accepted Jimmy's hand and struggled to his feet. Following Jimmy's back into the house, the kitchen heat enveloping him melted away some of the ice in Coop's heart. Jimmy belonged to a class of forbidden fruit he could never hope to consume. But Coop now knew he and Jimmy shared something very few on the force could claim: true friendship. No other Christmas gift could ever take prominence over that.


End file.
